Monday, July 20, 2009

Kroger Mint Butter: A Brief Review

I've already discussed how much I love free samples. I have very low standards of what I'll eat for free. If it's speared on a toothpick and doesn't appear to be rotting, I'll take one, thank you. Potato chips, day-old hummus, stale sugar cookies, even sushi (doesn't that sound like a recipe for a night in the bathroom?) - I'm pretty much a sample pro at this point.

Dear friends, I'm here to tell you that I may have just encountered the strangest sample of them all, and it was at the sample mecca of greater Cincinnati: Anderson Kroger. It was on my afternoon dinner grocery run that I found myself balancing a cracker in one hand and my camera in the other, face to face with a blob of toothpaste-green goo. Mint butter.

It's not the concept of mint butter I find strange. I'm a big fan of stuff in butter. Ever since I tried a lavender/honey butter at a swank restaurant, I've been singing the praises of stuff in butter. But at Kroger? On a cracker? As a sample?

Yes, please.


There's no trace of actual mint in the butter, as best I could tell. Just an eerie green color that beckoned me away from the hummus sample on the other side of the deli.


Kroger's version of mint butter, priced reasonably at $8.99 "wit' card," is overwhelmingly sweet. And then it's a little minty. Like maybe I'd brushed my teeth an hour ago and just gotten a whiff of spearmint from lingering bits of Crest Whitening with Scope.

With my first bite, I'd tried to make the sample a two-bite ordeal, but the cracker couldn't handle the pressure and exploded all over my shirt. So then I was not only sampling green butter, I was wearing it. Perfect.

I wiped off the crumbs, got my groceries and went on my way, changed.

4 comments:

WestEnder said...

You took your camera into Kroger?

Allison said...

My camera goes everywhere! How else would I be able to document bizarre things like mint butter? It's one of the advantages of my tiny Cyber-shot, which is otherwise kind of pathetic.

Jeff said...

When I worked for Kroger in Hillsboro, I was amazed at how consistently they misspelled the words on the signs hanging around the store. It's good to know the same rigorous disregard for correct spelling isn't isolated to my little neck of the woods.

Also, I do not think I'll be eating any mint butter.

Anonymous said...

The ONLY good thing about that Kroger is the free samples. Everything else, from the parking lot to the town center itself to the selection is badbadbad.