Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Acapulco Margarita: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide

In the midst of the authentic South American eateries on Route 4, you'll find the thoroughly mediocre, staunchly average Acapulco. They won't be getting any attention for their culinary achievements, so they seem resigned to make their most noteworthy menu feature an alcoholic one - the massive Acapulco Margarita. It's served in a glass that's a kind of half-goldfish bowl on a giant stem. It's filled to the top, salt lining the rim if you so choose. The glasses are so large that two regular sized straws look like oversized drink-stirrers. A wedge of lime on the glass's edge is comically miniaturized.

So how do you go about getting such a great volume of liquid into your belly? Starting off, you'll want to avoid moving the drink if at all possible. This includes picking the glass up to drink from it, so you'll have to use the straw for the first twenty minutes or so. It's not pretty, but you won't wind up with spilled margarita in your lap either.

Once you've taken the liquid down to a manageable level, you may need to do some light stretching before you lift the glass. When you're feeling limber, grasp the bowl with both hands, tilt it toward you ever so slightly, and slurp from the edge of the glass. Hopefully, you'll get a mouthful of salt too. Repeat as often as necessary to finish the margarita.

Now that you're tanked up on tequila and sugar, head downstairs to the Mexican supermarket. Marvel at the pinatas, the fruit juice drinks, the... double fiber bread... If you happen to be a certain bacon blogger, you might even consider a spontaneous chorizo purchase.

You're still too buzzed to get in your car, so head next door to Arcade Legends where you can pay a flat rate of $12 to play all of your childhood arcade favorites like Galaga and Tron. Sweaty thirteen year olds, the hovering aroma of McDonald's french fries - it's like Junior High all over again.

Thankfully, in this version of Junior High you can leave whenever you want. You walk out of the dark arcade $12 poorer, but a champion of video games you never thought you'd finally beat. A winning night, in all, and you didn't even have to go to Mexico to have that much fun.


Anonymous said...

! what did you eat there though? acapulco is by far my favourite mexican restaurant in this area. they have the best chips and salsa and everything i have ever had is phenomenal. so much better than the dishes served up at el rancho grande or cancun.

jeff said...

I was really, really happy to be part of that afternoon. The chorizo from that store was also quite tasty.